She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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