Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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