How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
