What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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