I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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