Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
