you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
