plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize