No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
