Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
