Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
