and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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