Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
