nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize