Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
