He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
