haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you had me at cake vodka
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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