on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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