The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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