remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
