She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I looked at my own cervix.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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