JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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