sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Help. Why am I so naked?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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