ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
