So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
