Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
