he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize