Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
