I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
