she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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