3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
