Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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