Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nicole vs. Life
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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