I want to make a zoo with you.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
