He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
