Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
