I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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