I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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