everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
