i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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