What a fucking waste of an outfit
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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