As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
