so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
