Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
