I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
