I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish i was in the wii world.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
