Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize