And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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