Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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