ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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