4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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