Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
God I need to hump something, right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
