my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
