my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
