Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
