I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
