He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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