It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
