Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
