Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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