No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
